Hey Reader,

I appreciate I can sometimes sound contradictory: I validate practitioners direct experience while telling them they don't need external validation.

I've been asked a few questions on this over the past week, so I thought I'd share with you too, in case you find it useful.

When I validate what a practitioner is perceiving or an experience in a previous Reiki learning space - when I name the energetic mechanics of what they sense already to be true - that's not the same as asking for external permission.

It's actually quite the opposite, in my experience.

Someone found me on TikTok recently describing what was happening in their Reiki sessions: specific densities, energetic patterns, the way her clients' energy was becoming her own by the end of each session.

I knew exactly what she was experiencing. So I offered her a free chat.

She'd asked her Reiki master about it.

"There's no such thing as negative energy," she was told.

So she learned to doubt herself. Learned to believe that what she was directly experiencing wasn't real. Learned to check her perceptions against an external authority before trusting them. And couldn't find a way to resolve absorbing her clients' energy, because she thought she was making it up in her head.

When I explained what was actually happening - the energetic mechanics of what she was correctly perceiving & how she could support herself fully to resolve energetic bleed - she cried.

But here's the nuance: I wasn't giving her permission to trust herself.

She already knew.

What I did was name what she was experiencing so she could stop gaslighting herself about it.

That's validation of direct experience. Not external permission.

And there's a person starting the pathway next month who was told by her mainstream Reiki teacher: "You're too traumatised to receive an attunement properly."

A flat declaration from someone positioned as a perceived authority. A statement that could potentially sound like fact but was actually control, underneath overtly unsafe teaching, in my opinion. And the result was years of emotional & Spiritual damage for the student.

I can't say enough:

When a practitioner or teacher is working as the safe & effective hollow bone, they will not be impacted by any of a client or students "stuff". Even if the client or student has trauma (spoiler: we all do to varying extents. It's largely unavoidable as we go about life..)

As I know you know if you've been here a while now, attunements aren't needed to connect safely, ethically & powerfully with Reiki energy.

And this type of experience, I believe, further amplifies how I personally feel about safe & ethical Reiki practise & teaching. Which of course, is my passion.

Again - I didn't give this person permission.

But a naming of what's true so she could stop accepting the lie she was told.

Here's the distinction that matters I feel:

There's a difference between:

External permission seeking = "I need someone 'higher up' to tell me I'm allowed to trust myself"

Validation of direct experience = Someone naming what's actually happening from their own personal experience (& having worked with hundreds of practitioners), so another can stop doubting the knowing they already innately sense to be true.

One keeps a person dependent on hierarchy.

The other supports a person to root deeper into their own authority.

The mainstream system needs us to confuse these. Needs us to think that validation from an ethical & experienced mentor is the same as permission from a hierarchy. Because once we stop needing that permission, the entire structure loses its grip.

What I'm actually doing when I validate an experience:

I'm not giving someone anything they don't already have.

I'm naming the mechanics so the gaslight can't hold.

I'm reflecting back what's true so they can stop arguing with themself about whether they're crazy or not.

I'm speaking the language their direct knowing is already speaking - so they recognise they're not alone in perceiving it, and they're not wrong for sensing it.

That's different from a mentor saying "Trust me, I know better."

It's a mentor saying "What you're perceiving is real. Here's how it actually works. You already know how to trust yourself."

The practitioners I work with don't need my permission.

I've found they benefit from an unrestrictive Spirit-led framework to understand what they're already experiencing.

Someone who won't gaslight them about their own perceptions.

A language for what they already know.

To understand that seeking validation of direct experience is not the same as seeking external authority.

One is integrity. One is dependence often masquerading as humility.

The good news:

If you see yourself in these experiences - and I know not everyone will - that knowing you have, the perception you were told wasn't real, the sensitivity you were told was a problem, the intuition you learned to doubt, it was never wrong.

It's likely you just need someone to name it, so you could stop pretending you didn't already know it.

Blessings,

Jayne